My advice as a 30 year old post-Saturn return girlie ✨ this is especially for women and especially for empaths and people pleasers. It’s what I would tell my little sister if I had one.
1. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, warm and soft, and emotional. But always speak up if someone is trying to hurt you or take advantage of you.
2. Give yourself permission to be lazy, high maintenance, and have standards. I used to demand to split everything with my man thinking I was a “feminist”. I have not touched a utility bill or the check in a restaurant in a couple of years and I finally feel like a woman. When men are in their masculine energy and they love you, it gives them joy to spend money on you. Let them. “Doing it all” is not a virtue, it’s a trap and it will make you sick. Yes you can do it but you shouldn’t have to.
3. People at work are not your friends. With the exception of those who are your actual friends outside of work. Everyone else talks behind your back as they do with each other, and would betray you in a minute if it serves them. Don’t be fooled and avoid sharing personal info.
4. Don’t be the “cool girl”. Wear pink, support other women, cry when you are hurt, be overdressed or underdressed depending on how you feel, ask for what you want and believe you deserve it. Being low maintenance only serves people who don’t care about you.
5. Make it okay to make mistakes and ask for help. The people who can’t tolerate you making mistakes are again the ones who benefit from you doing it all and making yourself sick in the process.
6. Some people will be insanely annoyed at you when you feel pretty, look good in pictures or have standards or when you are being feminine and taken care of. That’s their problem, not yours. Also, everyone you know who is skinnier than you will make weight comments about how they themselves are “fat” in front of you to boost their own ego. This isn’t about you. Try not to take it personally.
7. Actions are far more important than words. Never listen to what men say, judge by their actions towards you. Literally put them on mute and only look at how they act.
8. You may regret some things but you will NEVER regret following your intuition. Follow your own lifepath and your own timeline instead of listening to society about when you are “supposed to” be doing something.
9. Intelligence does not equal decency or goodness. One of the worst kinds of people you will meet will be the judgemental intellectuals who have a high IQ and severely underdeveloped emotional intelligence. They hate on everyone who isn’t as privileged as them not realizing their own privilege at all. They are dangerous and will throw you under the bus the minute you have your own opinion. They are usually democrats pretending to hate communism while ironically embodying it completely.
10. Look for compatibility in relationships over intensity. That includes friendships. If you have anxious attachment and you need attention don’t be friends with avoidant people who see you as too much just because you want to connect to them.
11. Let people go when they clearly don’t want to be in your life or don’t value you. There’s no reason to cling to someone just because you’ve known them for a long time.
12. Don’t tolerate people who cross your boundaries. And make sure to honor other people’s boundaries. Their feelings are valid even when they inconvenience you.
13. Know when you should work hard and when you should let go and have faith. Astrology can help you figure out your areas of life you need to work for, and the ones where things happen when you’re relaxed and chill (and when).
14. Don’t tolerate poor behavior towards you when you pay for a service. Stop paying and go elsewhere.
15. Money is energy. The more you give to others, the more it comes to you.
16. Be actively grateful for what you have. Make gratitude lists for what you love about your life as often as possible, preferably daily. You get more of what you appreciate.
17. Don’t watch the news every day. I will not elaborate.
18. Despite what capitalism is trying to make you believe, your relationships are far more important than your career and accomplishments.
19. The most useful thing you can do for your workouts is to create a playlist with upbeat songs you love.
20. Turn your dreams into actionable plans with realistic deadlines and you will make them all come true.
21. If you are being chronically negative, change your environment. If you’re still negative, you need to check what the issue is within. If not, the environment was crap and it wasn’t you.
22. Live your life according to your monthly cycle and hormones as much as possible. Don’t push against your body’s needs, work with it. Research what types of foods and activities are appropriate for each period of your monthly cycle. It’s embarrassing that we are so knowledgeable in so many areas of life and we are too lazy to research our own hormones which shape our experiences daily.
23. Let go of the need to be perfect. Sometimes life is wonderful, sometimes it sucks. Sometimes you are right, sometimes you are wrong. That’s okay. You don’t need to heal every aspect of yourself you don’t like. You can accept it instead. Don’t get lost in self improvement. It can become a form of self hate.
23. Clarity is found in solitude. To make sure you are on the right path for you and to assess your life, decide what to change and solve your problems, take a day (or at least 2-4 hours) to yourself and sit down home alone with a notebook and a pen and no distractions. If you can’t do that and you constantly need to be somewhere, talk to someone or do something, chances are you are not in touch with your soul and your environment is running your life instead of you.
24. Truly intelligent people can hold two seemingly contradictory truths at the same time.
25. Unless you are a firefighter or looking after a small child it’s not your job to rescue people. You are not helping others with things they are supposed to be doing themselves because you are an empath. You are doing it to fulfill your need for control.
26. All spiritual channels carry the same information you already have access to through your intuition. Astrology, numerology, psychics, spirituality will all give you the same answers you already know deep down.
27. If you’re stuck and you feel stagnant energy, immediately throw away or donate stuff you no longer need. Cleaning clears the energy field and makes space for the new.
28. You don’t have to be productive every minute of every day. You don’t have to go somewhere every weekend. You don’t have to go out each Friday night. You don’t have to travel on each holiday. You don’t have to pick up the phone every time it rings. Do it only if you want to, not because everyone else is doing it.
29. Some things you have to do through discipline no matter if you enjoy them or not. Nobody cares if you enjoy working out. Do it for your own health and wellbeing.
30. If you can afford to travel and you enjoy it – do it. You meet different parts of yourself at different places and that’s a wonderful experience. Don’t use it to escape life though. If you constantly need to escape where you are at, you should probably change something.